Soothing-Sundays

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 How do we heal from the hardships and heartaches we experience in life? What have we done to sooth our pain, our hearts, and our thoughts?

Many of us suffer every day and continue to present to the world a false narrative about ourselves. We present ourselves as complete and unscathed by hardships, putting on a smile. As if it was wrong to not be okay.

Here We are Acknowledging Our Lives

It is important to know that the pain or aches in our lives are valid and normal. No matter the gravity of pain, or how long we have felt a certain way, we hurt ultimately because we are human. We may not ever forget about our hardships, but they should not disturb our ability to function.

No days are right or wrong when we set time aside to take care of ourselves. As a reminder to focus on healing, every Sunday in the month of October, a "Soothing-Sunday" post including emotional healing exercises will be uploaded.

Control

For our first exercise comes from mystength.com a website that provides materials for groups which can be adjusted to become individual exercises. Today, we will be thinking about things we can and cannot control in our lives. Write down things you can and cannot change in your life right now. 

Examples of things we can change usually revolve around ourselves. Our habits, reactions, our choices, etc. Many aspects in our lives that we cannot change include others. What others think, do, say, decide, etc. However, there are still aspects that we cannot change that include ourselves as well, our past for example.

After creating your list, ask yourself what you will do about them or if you will do anything at all. Do you need help to make these changes happen? What do you hope to achieve? Take this time to notice how you are feeling. What emotions are you feeling? (happy, irritated, anxious, etc.)

T

his exercise is meant to help us recognize the time and effort we spend on trying to change what is out of our control. For those of us who decide we need help to make these changes happen, what are our support systems?  (Friends. Family, peers, etc.)

Experience

Upon making my own list two weeks ago for a group, I recognized that I felt increasingly anxious in wanting to change what others think. In my case, I really care what my parents think about me and my career. However, this group has allowed me to learn and provided an opportunity of growth. This exercise helped me realize just how much time I spend on trying to change what I cannot control.

In fact, a lot of us stress about what we cannot control and end up blaming ourselves when things do not go as planned.

This group exercise topic makes me feel secure and happy about initiatives I have taken in my life without support from my parents. Specifically, regarding social work and my current job. I feel hopeful and at peace with myself. I cannot control what others think about me and many times it may not be true at all. However, my accomplishments in my life have taken a lot of work. Emotional work too. I am optimistic that it will all be worth it.

Sooth Your Pain

 I encourage for those that need help to seek your supports. Hopefully this exercise helps us identify areas of growth. For the rest of the month of October, every Sunday, we will be soothing our pain. Timing is everything. These posts will remain posted, if you are unable to return every Sunday, return when you are ready.

For additional examples about pain and healing, click here.

Comment down below aspects that surprised you or any of your additional thoughts, I would love to read some of your comments.